


Numb Without You

by castronomicaaal



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 10:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17764736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castronomicaaal/pseuds/castronomicaaal
Summary: “Hey, listen, I’m room twenty-six if you ever need anything, anything at all? Okay? After all, I’m the RA. I’m here to serve.”





	Numb Without You

Peter Parker feels like a complete and utter imbecile.

He’s only just finished moving in, having moments ago said a tearful goodbye to Aunt May in the hallway, and is now attempting - and failing - to reenter his dorm room.

For some reason the key keeps sticking and, no matter what he seems to try, it won’t let him in. Eventually he gives up, crying out in annoyance and fear and a plethora of built up emotions from the day, before tossing the keys to the ground.

He’s stuck in California for God’s sake, all by his lonesome, with no way to enter his dorm room. Peter wants to curl up in a ball and cry, already busy contemplating going back home to the safety of Queens, when a stranger makes their way over and picks up his forgotten keys.

Peter blinks back the tears, suddenly embarrassed, and meets eyes with the cutest boy he’s ever seen, who just so happens to be wearing nothing but a towel.

The man smiles softly before turning and plunging the key back into the hole. He twists sharply left and kicks at the lower right edge of the door. The door opens with ease.

Peter’s left standing there, blinking rapidly, his face going rouge as he tries not to stare at the man’s chest.

“I uh - thanks?”

He grins, patting Peter on the shoulder. “I had the same room my first year,” he offers. “It’s all in the kick. Anyway, I’m James Barnes, your RA, but you can call me Bucky. If you need anything else just let me know.”

The smaller brunette is left standing there dumbfounded, watching as Bucky turns and walks away. He finds himself counting each door that passes, watching Bucky’s ass sway with each movement, before he eventually stops at door twenty-six. Bucky enters the room and disappears from sight.

Peter sighs deeply and decides he’ll give college another try.

* * *

 

Peter doesn’t see Bucky again for a painstaking week.

He’s been so busy with all of his new classes and learning more about the campus that he’s hardly been on his dorm floor.

Now it’s midnight and Peter is very tired. He had his first quiz today and another tomorrow, which means he’s been studying all day. He literally just got kicked out of the library due to closing time, and now all he’s looking forward to are his sheets.

He’s just settled in for the night, his head resting comfortably on the pillow, when the shrill sound of the fire alarm blares out.

Peter jumps up from bed, annoyed, before quickly throwing on a top and sweats. He and his roommate - a nice guy named Pietro - exit their rooms at the same time.

They make their way downstairs, luckily only two flights, before walking outside into the crisp night air. One thing Peter doesn’t miss about Queens is the colder weather, that’s for certain. He can’t wait to experience a Californian winter.

Peter stands outside, people watching as they make their way out of the building and onto the sidewalk and parking lot out front, when he spots Bucky make his way outside…in a towel.

Peter’s fists clench tightly, unabashedly admiring his body now that he knows Bucky can’t see him looking. He’s toned, that’s for sure. There’s a little patch of brown hair trailing down his towel. Peter wants to see where it leads.

The older man makes his way over to the crowd and ends up standing near Peter, whose eyes avert quickly.

“Nice night, huh?” Bucky questions, staring up at the dark sky.

Peter nods, “Sure. It’s cool.”

Eventually Bucky turns to look at who he’s speaking with, and his smile widens. “Hey kid! How’s it been going?”

His nose crinkles slightly, displeased by the addition of ‘kid’. Peter’s not a child, he’s a fully grown eighteen year old man, thank you very much.

“Things have been good. It’s an adjustment, but I’m getting more used to it with every day. I’m Peter, by the way. Never got a chance to tell you that before.”

To his delight, Bucky reaches out to shake his hand. His handshake is firm but tender. Peter wills himself not to blush.

“Can I ask you something Bucky?” Peter questions, his eyebrow furring. Bucky nods easily enough.

“Do you own…clothes?”

Bucky bursts out laughing, causing a few people nearby to turn and look. His laugh is loud and vibrant and Peter can’t help but laugh, too.

“Course I do, punk. Guess we just keep catching each other at a bad time.” Bucky offers. Peter thinks, _‘or a very good time’_ but doesn’t say as much out loud.

Eventually the alarm stops and they head back in together.

“Hey, listen, I’m room twenty-six if you ever need anything, anything at all? Okay? After all, I’m the RA. I’m here to serve.” He winks before walking away to his door.

Peter nods absentmindedly, already lost in thought regarding what exact services Bucky could provide to him.

* * *

 

Peter Parker doesn’t dance.

When you’ve got two left feet, dancing pretty much pushes itself from out of the equation.

He sits nearby, complacent enough with his cup of fruit punch, watching couples as they slow dance together to some song or another. Peter almost wishes he were back in his dorm…almost. But there’s a cute boy with long brown hair and big blue eyes in charge of the music and goddamn it, Peter can’t help but stay and watch Bucky silently sway along.

He’s so caught up in his swooning he doesn’t even realize at first that Bucky begins moving towards him. Peter blinks rapidly and squeezes his cup tighter the moment he notices those baby blues trained on him, a small smirk upon Bucky’s face.

He extends a hand, waving Peter up, and for goodness sake’s, Peter starts to blush violently. He shakes his head, embarrassed, and attempts to decline.

Bucky only laughs and begins to faux lasso Peter in with his hands, causing a few people in the nearby vicinity to stop and stare.

“Oh God,” the smaller brunette frowns, running a hand through his dark locks. As much as he doesn’t want to dance, he wants to be close to Bucky. His crush on the boy gives in and Peter stands, linking their hands.

Bucky grins from ear to ear, pulling Peter closer.

Together they slow dance, bodies touching, and Peter wills down his erection because he’s _this_ close to popping wood in the middle of the dance floor.

“I knew you could do it, kid.” Bucky whispers in his ear, his lips tickling Peter’s lobe. He shivers.

“I’m not a kid,” Peter tells him dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

“I knew you could do it, baby.” Bucky teases.

Peter swallows thickly, biting at his lower lip. Bucky Barnes will be the death of him, he swears it.

And they say Peter Parker doesn’t dance.

* * *

 

“I’m supposed to come up with an ethical dilemma we as humans experience and write my own opinions regarding the matter.” Peter sighs deeply, itching at his forehead with his pencil.

He’s laying on Bucky’s bed while the older man sits in his computer chair, Peter’s _Ethics_ book in his hands. He scans through the pages, helping the younger boy with his homework.

“Okay, so why not do something simple, right? Like, can murder ever be justified?” Bucky shrugs before tossing the book aside.

Peter shrugs noncommittally. “Maybe. I just wanna try and write about something a little more…interesting.”

“You calling me uninteresting?” Bucky teases, throwing a pillow at Peter’s head. The boy laughs before sitting up. He crosses his legs beneath his body, scanning his notebook for any possible ideas.

“I think I am,” he grins in return. “You’re just a big, dumb, uninteresting alien.”

He and Bucky share a laugh until Peter’s eyes widen happily. “That’s it! Aliens.”

Bucky stands, leaning over the boy as he writes in his notebook: _Do humans have the right to colonize other planets?_

“Now you’re thinking, kiddo.” Bucky pats Peter on the back of the head, grinning.

Peter simply rolls his eyes in response, not bothering to remind Bucky he’s not a kid, he’s heard that argument about a thousand times and it hasn’t stopped him yet.

* * *

 

The first time Bucky mentions dating in Peter’s presence, he’s talking about taking Julia, a girl from one of his criminal justice classes, to the mall to catch a movie.

Peter’s absolutely devastated, but he refuses to let it show. He shouldn’t have ever gotten his hopes up to begin with. Even if Bucky were gay - which he’s obviously not - why would he go for someone as lame as Peter anyway?

The shorter of the two pretends to be happy, puts on a fake smile, and helps him pick out his best outfit.

“Maybe I should wear a towel.” Bucky teases, grinning from ear to ear. Peter nods, not really feeling the joke. The thought of Bucky in a towel in someone else’s presence makes him nauseous.

Peter can’t help but wish it was him going on a date with Bucky.

Still, he helps his friend out and sends him on his way with a grin and a wave.

Peter cries himself to sleep that night, feeling foolish and immature as ever.

* * *

 

Two months into the relationship and Bucky’s as happy as Peter’s ever seen him - granted, they’ve known each other now for a mere four months.

When he’s not helping Peter with homework or doing mandatory RA duties, he’s with Julia. Stupid blonde Julia with her stupid big green eyes and stupid pretty smile.

Try as he might, Peter can’t even find it in him to truly hate the girl. She’s great, a real sweetheart, and maybe in another lifetime Peter could of had a crush on her, too. But she is who she is and Peter is Peter. And Bucky Barnes is in love with Julia and not him.

The brunette just wishes Bucky would shut up sometimes. It’s always ‘Julia this’ and ‘Julia that’. It turns Peter’s stomach.

One day he finds himself hearing enough and slams his book closed. They’re at the library, studying for their finals, when Bucky’s talking goes too far. He makes an offhand comment, something sexually charged, and Peter can’t bear to hear it.

“Am I bothering you?” Bucky questions, his eyebrows creasing in confusion.

Peter sneers, rolling his eyes. “Only every other minute.”

“Listen, Pete,” Bucky pauses, shaking his head. “Whatever’s been going on with you lately, you can talk to me about it. You know I’m here for you, kid.”

“I’m not a KID!” Peter barks out, causing a few other people in the room to turn and stare in annoyance.

Before either of them can say anything further, Peter’s turning and walking away, his items in his hands.

* * *

 

It’s two in the morning on the first Saturday back from Christmas break when Peter awakens to frantic knocking upon his door.

He sits up in shock, eyes wide as fear takes over. Whoever it is, they’re attempting to wiggle the doorknob.

Peter stands, not bothering to put on a shirt or pants, and makes his way over to the door in his boxers.

“Who is it?” He questions, his voice shaking slightly.

“It’s me, Peter, open the damn door.”

Peter’s surprised to hear Bucky’s voice on the other side of the door, but more than that, relieved that Pietro is out for the night. He can’t imagine how annoyed his roommate would be right now. Hell, Peter himself is annoyed.

He opens the door, allowing the shaggy haired man entrance. Peter has to admit, Bucky looks rough. He’s unshaven with baggy, red rimmed eyes. As mad as Peter is, he feels his heart dropping at Bucky’s appearance.

He helps the man over to his bed and together they sit down.

“It’s over, it’s over.” Bucky tells him, wiping at his mouth. “We tried making it work, but it just didn’t.”

“Slow down Buck, what’s over?” Peter wonders, patting the man on the back comfortingly.

“Me and Julia. We’re done.”

Peter would be lying if he said he hasn’t been waiting for this moment for months. Though it seems to be a ‘be careful what you wish for’ situation. Bucky looks like shit. Peter would never wish that upon him.

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” Peter responds, a bit numb by this point. As bad as he feels for the guy, a part of him is angry, too.

Bucky hasn’t contacted him since the library incident, and that was nearly a month ago. Peter spent winter break home in Queens wondering if Bucky Barnes was even still alive.

“It’s okay,” Bucky offers, shaking his head. He licks at his lower lip, eyes trailing Peter’s own. “You know why it’s okay?”

Peter shakes his head no and Bucky cups his head within his hands.

“Cause it means I can do this.”

He closes the slight gap, firmly pressing his lips to Peter’s own. Too stunned to respond in any other manner than kissing back, Peter allows himself to be kissed by Bucky. His lips are chapped, wet with spit, and they feel like heaven to Peter Parker.

This is it. This is the moment he’s been dreaming of for half of a year. The buildup has been intense, full of ups and downs, but it’s here. And Bucky Barnes is kissing him.

And…Bucky Barnes is kissing him?

Peter pulls away, startled, and pushes Bucky backwards.

“What the hell, Bucky?”

Bucky frowns deeply, his eyes travelling downcast. “I thought…”

“You thought what? That you could go without speaking to me for a month then bang on my door at two in the morning and kiss me and I’d be fine with it?” Peter huffs out, crossing his hands in front of his chest.

Bucky sighs, pushing a loose strand of hair back behind his ear. “I thought it’s what you wanted, Pete? It’s what I wanted. I thought…”

Peter pauses, assessing Bucky’s words within his mind. _It’s what I wanted_.

Bucky wants him, too?

“You uh,” Peter pauses, swiping at his upper lip with his fingertip. “You want me?”

The older male nods quickly, his eyes brightening somewhat. Peter can read what’s right there in his eyes - hope.

“But Julia…”

“I broke up with Julia. So we could, I mean. So I could do that. So we can do that. It’s been a month Peter, a month without you. And I’ve been going crazy trying to figure out why I cared so much. But I know why now, and it’s because I want you. Every part of you. So yeah, I broke up with Julia and it sucks but what sucks more is the thought of living life without you.”

Peter simply sits there, stunned, processing all of this information. Eventually he frowns, still nervous about being hurt again.

“You never called.”

“You didn’t call either, kid.” Bucky points out, grinning softly.

Peter rolls his eyes, but a soft smile finds itself on his lips. He never really stopped to think of it that way, before.

“I’m not a – ” Before Peter can finish the sentence, Bucky’s scooping him up into his arms and placing a sweet kiss upon his lips.

They kiss passionately, tenderly, slowly, and, most importantly, with love.


End file.
